By: Gillian Reynolds

Are you and your boyfriend compatible?

That’s a loaded question, isn’t it? Compatibility is obviously incredibly important for any long term relationship to flourish and grow but how are you supposed to know just how well you two are suited for each other when things are still very fresh and new. We all have typical questions that we ask when we find ourselves developing feelings for someone, but are they the right questions? You may not realize that there are actually very specific questions you can ask a prospective partner that will let you know whether he’s the one for you or not.

One way to answer the question are you and your boyfriend compatible is to ask him a series of innocent sounding questions and then compare his answers to how you’d respond if asked. Some great examples are questions about where he sees himself in five years and whether or not he’s planning on having children. Many women neglect to ask any questions about how their man views the male and female dynamic. For instance, if you have very rigid ideas about how women should be just as entitled to work after the couple has children, and your boyfriend completely disagrees with that and thinks that women need to stay home and raise their kids, that’s a problem. Questions like these are simple to fit into a conversation and can be incredibly telling.

Some people get caught up in asking questions about their partner’s favorite movie or color. Naturally these will give you some insight into his likes and dislikes, but it’s not going to reveal a lot about his core values or beliefs. Try asking things about his childhood and what one great memory is. This can tell you a lot about the dynamic of the relationship he shared with the people closest to him, including his parents. Also, ask about his parents and their relationship. Many people repeat the same behavior in their own primary relationship that they witnessed in their parent’s marriage when they were growing up. The answer to that can give you a glimpse into what a future with your boyfriend might be like.

About the Author

Compatibility is essential for the long term success of any dating relationship. There are very specific and revealing questions you should be asking your boyfriend to see if he’s the man for you.

Learn the questions you need to start asking now to see if you two really do have a future together.

Author: Joseph Matthews

The basics can really put you way ahead of other men when it comes to flirting. As I wrote previously, turn taking is of utmost importance. Now let’s look at the content of you are speaking!

There are rules that you’ll need to know. And as it were, most men don’t know them!  Knowing them is important, as you’ll avoid much a lot of pain that goes into failed flirting.

It’s not so much the content of what you are saying, but rather the delivery and it’s tone. For example if you drone on negatively about a certain subject, you are bound to eventually drive someone off.

It’s a simple mistake, and understandable. We live in a culture that celebrates cynicism to an extent, so people tend to embrace it. Overall, a little goes a long way though. Avoid that in your conversations, as you’ll bore her and she’ll get fed up with you.

Other ways to make a conversation boring are as follows:

Preoccupation with yourself. If you talk about yourself constantly, and show no interest in others (particularly her!), you are definitely going to have a short run.

Superficiality – talking only about the banal, telling hackneyed jokes or stories. This reeks of shallowness, just like the stories.

Being tedious – Talking too slowly, pausing too long, and taking too long to make a point. This is common, as people try to appear calm and smooth in their interactions. Remember, there is always a balance.

Too passive – just refusing to take part and leaving the conversation on the other person.

Unenthusiastic – talking in a monotone voice, showing no emotion, making no eye contact. This says a lot, and very little of it is good.

Being too serious or somber – There are times you NEED to be serious, but you need to be able to shake that off and clown around sometimes. If you don’t do it, your conversation might abruptly end.

Too much excitement – Someone who is all over the place during the conversation, or is easily sidetracked, you’ll make the other person go crazy. Reign this sort of behavior in at all costs.

So what IS a good thing to say? Aside from avoiding the above issues, there are a few things you can do. The first is to keep on the topic, and allow for turn taking. The second is to do your part in gauging the conversation, keep a positive attitude, and make it fun! Being fun is a huge part, and you can talk about almost anything!

Another thing to look at – compliments. They can be good, and are usually most welcome. However, you CAN go overboard. If you do, the situation is recoverable though.

If you do pay a compliment, be cautious of the nature of it. You can convey attraction without having to resort to vulgar or intrusive compliments. If you know the person, you can judge it better, but be aware of this issue.

Keeping it simple, and saying something such as “You look gorgeous”, can go a long way. Going further than this can cause offense or embarrassment. While that is not always the case, it’s a gambit that might not work out. Make sure to look her in the eyes while doing this – looking anywhere else could be potentially bad.

As well, while commenting on a woman’s appearance, remember that there is a time and place for everything. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is the timing your compliments poorly, as well as an other flirtatious overture.

Always be aware of the flirtatious overtures you are making. Sometimes it is obvious – you’d want to avoid saying something to someone who just lost a loved one, for example. But there are other times, when it’s not so obvious.

A good rule of thumb is to think about it in neutral terms. In other words, would you compliment a man in the situation? Would it seem appropriate? The same would apply if it was a woman. Keep it within those boundaries, and you’ll do fine.

While compliments are just a small part, they are important, and when used right will propel the attraction, instead of destroying it.

Pay attention to yourself during a conversation. Take notes too, if you can. Look for the rules mentioned above, and make sure to correct yourself after it happens. Eventually you’ll smooth things out.

About the Author:

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Article Source: The Art Of Verbal Flirting, Part 3