By: Gillian Reynolds

Are you and your boyfriend compatible?

That’s a loaded question, isn’t it? Compatibility is obviously incredibly important for any long term relationship to flourish and grow but how are you supposed to know just how well you two are suited for each other when things are still very fresh and new. We all have typical questions that we ask when we find ourselves developing feelings for someone, but are they the right questions? You may not realize that there are actually very specific questions you can ask a prospective partner that will let you know whether he’s the one for you or not.

One way to answer the question are you and your boyfriend compatible is to ask him a series of innocent sounding questions and then compare his answers to how you’d respond if asked. Some great examples are questions about where he sees himself in five years and whether or not he’s planning on having children. Many women neglect to ask any questions about how their man views the male and female dynamic. For instance, if you have very rigid ideas about how women should be just as entitled to work after the couple has children, and your boyfriend completely disagrees with that and thinks that women need to stay home and raise their kids, that’s a problem. Questions like these are simple to fit into a conversation and can be incredibly telling.

Some people get caught up in asking questions about their partner’s favorite movie or color. Naturally these will give you some insight into his likes and dislikes, but it’s not going to reveal a lot about his core values or beliefs. Try asking things about his childhood and what one great memory is. This can tell you a lot about the dynamic of the relationship he shared with the people closest to him, including his parents. Also, ask about his parents and their relationship. Many people repeat the same behavior in their own primary relationship that they witnessed in their parent’s marriage when they were growing up. The answer to that can give you a glimpse into what a future with your boyfriend might be like.

About the Author

Compatibility is essential for the long term success of any dating relationship. There are very specific and revealing questions you should be asking your boyfriend to see if he’s the man for you.

Learn the questions you need to start asking now to see if you two really do have a future together.

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) PostsTags: compatibility, Core Values, Feelings For Someone, Fit, Gillian Reynolds, Great Memory, Having Children, Innocent, Insight, Likes And Dislikes, Long Term Relationship, Lot, Many People, Neglect, Parents, Problem Questions, Prospective Partner, Rigid Ideas, Typical Questions

By Steve J Carter

Dating can be a complicated process, and to be honest, not very many people are good at it. The next time you have a big date planned, try to avoid these dangerous dating mistakes.

1. The Act

Most people are afraid of rejection. It’s human nature, and because of this, many people act as though they are somebody they really aren’t. It’s far better to be yourself. If you are looking for a successful, long-term relationship, it’s better to let someone learn about the real you. By doing so, you can avoid some potentially messy misunderstandings in the future. You won’t be able to keep up the act forever, and once you let your guard down, the other person may find out that you’re not the right one for them.

2. The Ex

Don’t talk about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend a lot. They don’t want to hear it at this point, and they definitely don’t want to feel like they are being compared to your past partners.

3. Settling

Sure, they have great teeth, hair and a grand sense of humor, but you realize that he/she is picky and argumentative. He/She is still a whole lot better than a lot of your past partners though, right? Wrong. When you settle for something less than you were originally looking for, you set yourself up for future failure. There are plenty of single men and women out there, don’t settle for second best.

4. The Illusion

When you’re first attracted to someone, your body is pumped full of a wonderful chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin can fool you into thinking everything is perfect, and make you want to throw yourself at the other person. However, you need to be rational, and slow the pace down a bit. Give your body time to adjust, and see things from a more logical point of view.

5. Make Wedding Plans

Don’t talk about marrying them. It makes you look dependant, and while this may make you vulnerable, it’s not what a woman or man is looking for in a long term relationship. They may sleep with you, because you seem vulnerable, but it’s unlikely that you’ll receive a second invitation to a date.

6. Sleep With Them On The First Date

If you sleep with someone after the first or second date, the other person is bound to wonder how many other men or women you’ve done this with in the past. If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, that’s not the impression you want to leave.

7. Not Being Confident

If the relationship isn’t meant to happen, it won’t. Being anxious and nervous about what the other person is going to say about you later, is a definite mood killer. However, confidence in yourself can really boost your worth in a potential mates eye. This doesn’t mean you should act like an egotistical jerk. Just be comfortable with yourself, and the rest will take care of itself.

8. Date Atmosphere

The whole point of dating is to get to know someone better. This can’t be done if you go to a movie theatre on your first date. While the movie is running, you’re both absorbed, making meaningful conversation impossible. Plan your first date wisely, instead of wasting your time.

9. Clam Up

Let them in a little. Not talking, or answering questions on a date, can quickly lead to failure. While you shouldn’t talk too much about yourself, it’s okay to let them get to know you a little.

One top mistake many people make is to just answer the question being asked, and usually answer it in a really short manner. I have been on the receiving end of this and it makes it so hard for the person asking the questions! You need to have a bit of give and take, conversation should flow and should go both ways, answer questions, bring in your experiences and other related stories to the answer, and make sure to bounce back the question or conversation to the other person. Do that and the conversation and attraction will flow freely.

10. Don’t Lie

Keep your word. If you are unreliable, you’re showing your date that you’re going to be unreliable in the future. Most people want a reliable, trustworthy and honest partner.

If you can avoid these deadly dating mistakes in the future, you’re ahead of the game. Just be natural, and not fake. Enjoy the dating scene, but be aware that there are a lot of players on the field. It’s only a matter of time, until you meet the right one for you.

From the Author:

If you struggle to think of great date ideas then visit TopDateIdeas.com where you can get the most romantic, fun and creative date ideas, along with exclusive reports with the best information on how to keep your relationship supercharged with love and passion.

Do you know your Dating IQ? Find out if you are a dating superstar or a dating dud, click here to take this free quiz now.

photo by terren in Virginia under Creative Commons License.

Join the forum discussion on this post - (1) PostsTags: Body Time, Failure, Girlfriend, Human Nature, Illusion, Logical Point, Long Term Relationship, Men And Women, Misunderstandings, Oxytocin, Pace, Point Of View, Rejection, Sense Of Humor, Single Men, Sleep, Teeth, Top 10 Dating Mistakes, Wedding Plans, Whole Lot