It’s not easy swimming around the dating pool, especially, these days.

I’ve known people who have stayed years in a relationship with someone before figuring out they are sociopathic, psychos with a PAST.  It’s enough to make any once-extroverted socialite stay indoors and never go out to fish again.  With technology ever-evolving and the introduction of iPhones, the dating scene may have just gotten a bit safer.  Intelius, “a Background-check powerhouse” just announced it’s new entry into the 2-billion-apps-downloaded-daily iPhone market  with “DATECHECK.”  It is an application that allows the iPhones to be used to expose info people (ie. Your Date) may be hiding.

Once the application is installed the user supplies names and a telephone number to uncover criminal pasts, and current spouses even.  A SLEAZE DETECTOR feature in DateCheck searches, finds, and lists records of crimes, including drug arrests, sexual assaults, drunk driving, etc.  There is even a feature that shows current living situations, to see if your date has a roomate, and who it is.   Of course it will have the common features of a compatibility application such as astrological signs, and will even search online for their Facebook, MySpace, flickr, and LinkedIn pages to gather information as well.

So if your date passes the “SLEAZE DETECTOR,” the next step, OF COURSE, is to find out how much he/she is worth right?  Well, you will be able to with “NETWORTH.”   That’s right even as the gorgeous specimen of humanity sitting across from you is mentally tabulating the right tip, you can discretely find out, via your iPhone whether they can even afford it.

DateCheck for iPhones will be available in a few days online at Apple’s online APP store.  In a few weeks, we will see this app for other smart phones, and then a version for you Blackberry users toward the end of the month.

You should tell us what you think here.

By Steve J Carter

Dating can be a complicated process, and to be honest, not very many people are good at it. The next time you have a big date planned, try to avoid these dangerous dating mistakes.

1. The Act

Most people are afraid of rejection. It’s human nature, and because of this, many people act as though they are somebody they really aren’t. It’s far better to be yourself. If you are looking for a successful, long-term relationship, it’s better to let someone learn about the real you. By doing so, you can avoid some potentially messy misunderstandings in the future. You won’t be able to keep up the act forever, and once you let your guard down, the other person may find out that you’re not the right one for them.

2. The Ex

Don’t talk about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend a lot. They don’t want to hear it at this point, and they definitely don’t want to feel like they are being compared to your past partners.

3. Settling

Sure, they have great teeth, hair and a grand sense of humor, but you realize that he/she is picky and argumentative. He/She is still a whole lot better than a lot of your past partners though, right? Wrong. When you settle for something less than you were originally looking for, you set yourself up for future failure. There are plenty of single men and women out there, don’t settle for second best.

4. The Illusion

When you’re first attracted to someone, your body is pumped full of a wonderful chemical called oxytocin. Oxytocin can fool you into thinking everything is perfect, and make you want to throw yourself at the other person. However, you need to be rational, and slow the pace down a bit. Give your body time to adjust, and see things from a more logical point of view.

5. Make Wedding Plans

Don’t talk about marrying them. It makes you look dependant, and while this may make you vulnerable, it’s not what a woman or man is looking for in a long term relationship. They may sleep with you, because you seem vulnerable, but it’s unlikely that you’ll receive a second invitation to a date.

6. Sleep With Them On The First Date

If you sleep with someone after the first or second date, the other person is bound to wonder how many other men or women you’ve done this with in the past. If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, that’s not the impression you want to leave.

7. Not Being Confident

If the relationship isn’t meant to happen, it won’t. Being anxious and nervous about what the other person is going to say about you later, is a definite mood killer. However, confidence in yourself can really boost your worth in a potential mates eye. This doesn’t mean you should act like an egotistical jerk. Just be comfortable with yourself, and the rest will take care of itself.

8. Date Atmosphere

The whole point of dating is to get to know someone better. This can’t be done if you go to a movie theatre on your first date. While the movie is running, you’re both absorbed, making meaningful conversation impossible. Plan your first date wisely, instead of wasting your time.

9. Clam Up

Let them in a little. Not talking, or answering questions on a date, can quickly lead to failure. While you shouldn’t talk too much about yourself, it’s okay to let them get to know you a little.

One top mistake many people make is to just answer the question being asked, and usually answer it in a really short manner. I have been on the receiving end of this and it makes it so hard for the person asking the questions! You need to have a bit of give and take, conversation should flow and should go both ways, answer questions, bring in your experiences and other related stories to the answer, and make sure to bounce back the question or conversation to the other person. Do that and the conversation and attraction will flow freely.

10. Don’t Lie

Keep your word. If you are unreliable, you’re showing your date that you’re going to be unreliable in the future. Most people want a reliable, trustworthy and honest partner.

If you can avoid these deadly dating mistakes in the future, you’re ahead of the game. Just be natural, and not fake. Enjoy the dating scene, but be aware that there are a lot of players on the field. It’s only a matter of time, until you meet the right one for you.

From the Author:

If you struggle to think of great date ideas then visit TopDateIdeas.com where you can get the most romantic, fun and creative date ideas, along with exclusive reports with the best information on how to keep your relationship supercharged with love and passion.

Do you know your Dating IQ? Find out if you are a dating superstar or a dating dud, click here to take this free quiz now.

photo by terren in Virginia under Creative Commons License.

Author: Mr Online Dating

I am communicating with somebody from a dating site and we are close to getting out on our opening date.  Wherever are the most proficient places for our first date?

The bulk of online daters hold their first date at a café.  It is a very instinctive and easy surrounding where you are able to create an immediate departure or stay on for hours depending on how the date advances.  So what is the most common spot was for a first date, more importantly “the best spots.”

Here are a few more options:

1) Miniature golf game.
What’s neat about miniature golf is that it’s an activity date where you aim to experience the new person whilst undergoing some fun.  In a locale such as this, it’s more comfortable for your persona (and your date’s persona) to shine.

2) Hole in the Wall Eat Out.
This constitutes among those humble spots that hardly any people know about that deliver absolute great table service and food.  It can involve a lot of research on your part uncovering it, but once you discover this gem, it will very much impress both your date and you.

3) Local Comedy nightspot.
Let’s face it,partaking in an entertaining experience during a first date could help build a fast bond. Plan on getting to the comedy club early-ish with your date to get time to know one an other prior to the “main event”.  Being able to joke and experience fun on your date is a recipe for a great night.  But if you consider your date might be shocked by forceful language or sexual insinuations from a comedian, perhaps it’s better to look somewhere else for a first date.

4) Local carnival or Theme Park.
Reports indicate that proceeding on a date at a theme park assists building a bond as the playfulness related to the event is every bit related with who the event is shared with. Hence getting together at a theme park or local funfair can offer great interactivity and amusement.
While imagining a site for a first date, be original, but not over the top.  Be sure the locale is a spot your date can meet you at (it is never a smart thought to pick up your date or permit yourself to be picked up on a first date). Your initial date might have been to a café, however being a shade imaginative (and unusual) will assist you to stand out from the bunch.

Free Internet dating sites can often be a great place to start for dating ideas. The internet has many free online dating sites and free chat rooms that offer dating related articles for singles who are looking for dating ideas. Participating in singles chat rooms is a fantastic way check out what other singles are getting up to on their latest dating adventures.

Recent internet dating research suggests that 30% of singles now use free chat rooms and online dating sites in an attempt to meet new friends and singles.

About the Author:

How to impress your dream date

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photo by BigPru used under Creative Commons License

By Deborrah Cooper

I’ve found that texting is generally seen as a nuisance for people over the age of 40. For one thing, most of us have fingers that are NOT bony. Those little tiny buttons on the cell phones are ridiculously small. Plus, many of us have to find our reading glasses so we can even SEE the damn keyboard anyway! Women have the extra challenge of long and/or fake fingernails. Glamorous, sexy, make your hands look great. However, they have absolutely no traction on those little tiny plastic buttons on a cell phone keypad.

So then why is there so much hesitation when it comes to picking up the phone? Has texting become the newest addition to the list of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?”

I believe the growing preference for texting has a lot to do with its impersonal nature. It’s much easier to launch a new relationship by exchanging texts than it is to talk. It’s also very easy to say and do things over a screen that one would never have the nerve to do face to face (or say ear to ear). That would make things easier I suppose, but it also creates new problems. A large part of communication is non-verbal. When texting, the other party cannot receive those fine nuances of communication such as tone of voice, held back giggles, excited breathing, or body language that demonstrates anxiety, happiness or growing irritation.

Texting it seems, is here to stay, but there needs to be some rules in place. After listening to dozens of complaints from friends, coworkers, and family about their relationships and texting, I came up with “10 Texting Rules For Dating Singles.”

#1 Do Share Updates or Ask for Simple Instructions. On your way but missed your train? Texting to update your date on your revised arrival time is a considerate thing to do. On your way to the store and can’t remember what you are supposed to pick up for dinner at her place? Receiving a texted shopping list can be a life and relationship saver! Had a great first date? Texting the day after to say, “Wow, I had a really great time with you!” is a low key, no pressure way to express appreciation for someone’s time.

#2 Never Text While on a Date. You’d think everyone would know this already, but I guess common sense ain’t real common! Texting while in a face-to-face conversation is just as rude as blabbing away on a call. If you’re on a date and you want to see that person again, don’t sit there texting (or Twittering) the whole time, or part of the time, or even at all. That includes your best friend trying to sneakily find out how things are going, the Masters of Electronically Transmitted Whining (the kids), or an angry ex who saw you and your date in the restaurant parking lot. Manners and courtesy must reign supreme.

#3 Texts Should Never Replace Real Conversation. Texting is only for transmitting unimportant information or short and simple messages, not an in-depth conversation. More than four texts in a row… it’s time to pick up the phone. Middle aged fingers and hands cramp easily, okay!? Oh, and if you notice that you are having most of your relationship via texting, you need to move things along to the face to face level or just end it.

Like I said, the inherently impersonal nature of texting allows someone to “keep in touch” and keep fantasies of a relationship alive, but maintain emotional distance by never spending time with you. I’ve known guys to do a cut and paste type of thing and send the same text to a dozen women at almost the same time. It’s a time-saving way to cast a wide net and see who will let him come over for sex. Women should not make it so easy to be used for uncommitted booty calls.

#4 Does Anyone Care But You? Do not send text after text describing your every move, every conversation, or every thought. The fact that your coworker was late for the 10th time this month is of no importance to anyone but you. Get it? Unless what you are texting involves the recipient in some manner, and is very urgent (or at least a funny joke to break up our day), then don’t send a text.

#5 Do Not Send Compromising Photos. Are people these days crazy? What in the world is going on with this “sexting” stuff? Why would females send pictures of naked body parts (including their genitalia) over cell phones? Young ladies, not only is such behavior classless, it’s ridiculously dangerous. And if the sender or receiver of a sexually oriented text is a minor, it’s also illegal.

The long-term repercussions of this type of loose attitude about one’s body has concerned me for a long time. Women are likely to be humiliated to discover that they are the brunt of jokes, as guys will often share the sexy texts they get from random women with their buddies and have a good laugh. You’ll then be labeled, and it won’t be flattering. Think before you act.

Also important to remember is that some folks don’t do well with breakups and their vindictiveness spews forth like an erupting volcano. Your photos or videos could end up anywhere on the Internet, in a magazine, movie, or in a photo composite with someone else’s body doing something awful, topped off by YOUR FACE.

#6 If You’ve Been Drinking, Back Away From the Keypad! People will say and do things with firewater in their systems that they would NEVER do if sober. What types of things have I heard you ask? Sexual invitations to people known to have no interest, fights from months ago renewed with vigor due to unresolved anger, personal questions asked and personal information volunteered in a straight bonehead move. Liquid courage does that to people! Though alcohol doesn’t put ideas into our heads, a little booze definitely relaxes the constraints we have in place on our mouths and evidently our fingers. So, if you’ve been to happy hour(s), or had a few martini’s at home, do not send anyone a text. Your texting privileges are revoked until you are 100% sober.

#7 Don’t Expect Instant Gratification. Do not get upset if you don’t get a reply back within seconds of sending a text. People over the age of 25 usually have full-time jobs, families, and things to do that involve their hands, including cooking, typing, and driving. They’ll return your communication with a text or a phone call when they can. One should also remember that technology is great, but not perfect. I’ve sent texts that didn’t arrive at their destination for 45 minutes to several hours! I’ve also had the same problem with receiving transmissions sent to me by others.

#8 Always Be Aware of Your “Tone of Voice” and Communication Style. It’s difficult to discern the sender’s tone in text messages, just as it is in e-mail. What may be meant as humorous sarcasm, or a completely innocuous message to you may be easily misinterpreted by the recipient of your text. Such miscommunication can cause hurt feelings and unnecessary tension, and require an unbelievable amount of apologizing and explaining to fix. In some instances it will cost you the relationship. Watch the shorthand and acronyms as well. Not everyone is up on the textn lingo neway, and yr msg may leave sum1 scratching their head in confusion sayn L8tr4u vs ROFLMAO.

#9 Asking for Dates by Text is a No-No. Texting to set-up a date is bogus! Have the courage to speak up and risk rejection like a big boy or girl. Yeah, I know you’re a recent returnee to the dating scene, talking to someone you don’t know well feels awkward, and asking for a date when you might hear “no!” is scary. But one of the top qualities singles seek is a confident partner that goes after what he or she wants. Confident, secure people have an air about them that is very sexy… passive, hesitant, insecure people do not.

#10 Do Not Break It Off By Text. Neither do you use Twitter, Facebook, AIM, My Space, MSN messenger, email or fax. Use of any form of informal, emotionally disconnected electronic communication to dump someone is chickenshit. Not only is it immature, it’s just plain rude. If you opt to treat other people in such a way, don’t be surprised when your text is put on blast and ends up on Twitter, Facebook, My Space and every message forum in the world. Be an adult whydontcha, and tell people via phone (at least) that you two are not a match and you’re moving on.

Text messaging isn’t necessarily a tool of The Devil, but there can be quite a bit of misinterpretation and miscommunication if not used correctly. Texting is a great way to stay connected to someone you are madly in love with, and a useful tool to touch base with casual or new dating partners. However, texting is not and never will be a replacement for a heart-felt telephone conversation full of sighs and laughter.

(c) 2008 Deborrah Cooper. Deborrah is a dating expert and advice columnist whose articles and advice appear on the website AskHeartBeat.Com. In 1997 she published the hilarious dating guide “Sucka Free Love: How to Avoid Dating The Dumb, The Deceitful, The Dastardly, The Dysfunctional and The Deranged which provides hilariously witty, street-smart yet insightful analysis of real world dating issues. Deborrah Cooper makes presentations on dating and relationships for sororities, singles groups, and schools. For booking and fee information, log onto Media-Guest.Com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Deborrah_Cooper
http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Texting-Rules-For-Dating-Singles—Texting-Guidelines-and-Dating-Etiquette&id=2654242

photo courtesy SimonDoggett

Author: Joseph Matthews

The basics can really put you way ahead of other men when it comes to flirting. As I wrote previously, turn taking is of utmost importance. Now let’s look at the content of you are speaking!

There are rules that you’ll need to know. And as it were, most men don’t know them!  Knowing them is important, as you’ll avoid much a lot of pain that goes into failed flirting.

It’s not so much the content of what you are saying, but rather the delivery and it’s tone. For example if you drone on negatively about a certain subject, you are bound to eventually drive someone off.

It’s a simple mistake, and understandable. We live in a culture that celebrates cynicism to an extent, so people tend to embrace it. Overall, a little goes a long way though. Avoid that in your conversations, as you’ll bore her and she’ll get fed up with you.

Other ways to make a conversation boring are as follows:

Preoccupation with yourself. If you talk about yourself constantly, and show no interest in others (particularly her!), you are definitely going to have a short run.

Superficiality – talking only about the banal, telling hackneyed jokes or stories. This reeks of shallowness, just like the stories.

Being tedious – Talking too slowly, pausing too long, and taking too long to make a point. This is common, as people try to appear calm and smooth in their interactions. Remember, there is always a balance.

Too passive – just refusing to take part and leaving the conversation on the other person.

Unenthusiastic – talking in a monotone voice, showing no emotion, making no eye contact. This says a lot, and very little of it is good.

Being too serious or somber – There are times you NEED to be serious, but you need to be able to shake that off and clown around sometimes. If you don’t do it, your conversation might abruptly end.

Too much excitement – Someone who is all over the place during the conversation, or is easily sidetracked, you’ll make the other person go crazy. Reign this sort of behavior in at all costs.

So what IS a good thing to say? Aside from avoiding the above issues, there are a few things you can do. The first is to keep on the topic, and allow for turn taking. The second is to do your part in gauging the conversation, keep a positive attitude, and make it fun! Being fun is a huge part, and you can talk about almost anything!

Another thing to look at – compliments. They can be good, and are usually most welcome. However, you CAN go overboard. If you do, the situation is recoverable though.

If you do pay a compliment, be cautious of the nature of it. You can convey attraction without having to resort to vulgar or intrusive compliments. If you know the person, you can judge it better, but be aware of this issue.

Keeping it simple, and saying something such as “You look gorgeous”, can go a long way. Going further than this can cause offense or embarrassment. While that is not always the case, it’s a gambit that might not work out. Make sure to look her in the eyes while doing this – looking anywhere else could be potentially bad.

As well, while commenting on a woman’s appearance, remember that there is a time and place for everything. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is the timing your compliments poorly, as well as an other flirtatious overture.

Always be aware of the flirtatious overtures you are making. Sometimes it is obvious – you’d want to avoid saying something to someone who just lost a loved one, for example. But there are other times, when it’s not so obvious.

A good rule of thumb is to think about it in neutral terms. In other words, would you compliment a man in the situation? Would it seem appropriate? The same would apply if it was a woman. Keep it within those boundaries, and you’ll do fine.

While compliments are just a small part, they are important, and when used right will propel the attraction, instead of destroying it.

Pay attention to yourself during a conversation. Take notes too, if you can. Look for the rules mentioned above, and make sure to correct yourself after it happens. Eventually you’ll smooth things out.

About the Author:

Get Joseph Matthew’s free How To Meet Women newsletter and skyrocket your success with women today. And if you want to learn more proven techniques on how to meet women, go to his homepage and download your free meet women guide now: http://www.artofapproaching.com

Article Source: The Art Of Verbal Flirting, Part 3